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The Truth About Being an HSP: Feeling Like Something is Wrong with You

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Does is ever feel as if there is a rule book for life that everyone else got, but we never received? After an awkward conversation or embarrassing incident, we sometimes blame ourselves.

We think that everyone else would have handled that way better, way smoother, or way cooler.

If you've ever felt like you're a little off, or you're "too much", or you just can't get it together, you are in good company with your fellow HSPs.

Fun Fact: People aren't thinking about you as much as you think

When I was dealing with social anxiety, my therapist put this in perspective for me. She explained that most people are too busy worrying about themselves to pay attention to what I am doing.

If I am so wrapped up in my thoughts, perhaps they are wrapped up in their thoughts, too.

What does this have to do with feeling like there is something wrong with me? Well, even if you do make a social faux pas, chances are no one noticed or if they did they probably didn't remember it five minutes later.

People aren't judging our every move, only we are. Here's a secret: no one else thinks there is something wrong with us!

We're Masters of Overthinking

Overthinking should be our national sport because are we are really good at it! Highly sensitive people have a tendency to analyze conversations long after they've ended.

We pick apart every word, gesture, and facial expression. It's like we're playing detective in a never-ending game of Clue.

This overthinking can make us second-guess ourselves and wonder if we said or did something "wrong." The fancy term for this is rumination (something to do with cows, Google it) and I used to be (and sometimes still am) very guilty of this.

It can take over your brain if you let it. Just noticing you are doing it is step one in overcoming it.

Comparisonitis: The Silent Assassin

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Oh, the dreaded comparison game. In the age of social media, it's easy to scroll through Instagram and wonder why everyone else's life seems so "together" while we're over here trying to find matching socks.

Highly sensitive women often fall into the comparison trap, thinking they should be more like the seemingly unflappable people on their screens.

But guess what? Everyone has their own struggles, and nobody's life is as perfect as it appears online.

The important this is to remind yourself of every time you are on social media.

Emotions on Overdrive

Feelings – we've got lots of them! Highly sensitive women tend to experience emotions intensely. Sometimes, that emotional rollercoaster can make us wonder if there's something wrong with us.

We question why we cry at commercials, feel deep empathy for strangers, or get seriously affected by a sad song.

Keep in mind that although we feel the sad feelings strongly, we also get to feel the happy ones strongly too, so it all evens out in the end. Right? Gosh I hope so!

sign that reads embrace the awkwardness

Embracing Our Awkwardness

The truth is, being socially awkward or slightly inept at times is entirely human. HSPs can feel even more awkward because we are hyper aware of the subtleties in our interactions.

Did I just pick up on a micro-expression? What did that mean? Let me overanalyze that for a moment, won't you?

Instead of being overly critical of yourself, embrace your quirky moments. So, own it, laugh it off, and keep on strutting your stuff, awkwardness and all!

You Don't Need to Apologize for Yourself

A quick reminder for you: You don't need to apologize for being a little (or a lot) awkward. Embrace the fabulous messiness that makes you, you. Stop saying you are sorry for being you.

If you feel like you need to apologize for being your authentic self around someone, maybe you shouldn't be around that someone? It may be time for a friendship (of family member) audit.

Surround yourself with the kind of people who love you for your quirkiness, not make you feel bad about it.

sign that reads sorry i'm awkward. sorry.

Your Awkward is Someone Else's Adorable

There's a lid for every pot. At least I think that is how the expression goes. Your authenticity and awkwardness is a breath of fresh air in a world filled with surface-level conversations and superficial chit-chat.

When you find your people, those who accept you for exactly who you are, it's going to feel amazing.

It might take a while, I didn't find mine until I was in my 40's (Improv peeps, in case you were wondering) but when it does, you'll know it instantly. It will feel safe and inviting.


Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) make up at least 20% of the population so you're in good company when it comes to those cringe-worthy social slip-ups. Actually, I'm probably making one right now.


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