"What is holding you back?"
These five little words really force us to really look at why we haven't gone after what we really want.
Do you ever find yourself dreaming big, only to be quickly followed by that negative little voice in your head? The one that whispers, "But what if you fail?" or "You're not good enough."
That's the voice of fear. And it has a knack for cozying up in our highly sensitive minds and convincing us to play small.
But fear not (pun intended), because we're about to unpack why we let fear hold us back from pursuing our dreams, and how we can kick it to the curb.
Why do we let fear call the shots?
Fear loves to keep up hanging out in our comfort zones. It's like that annoying friend who never wants to try anything new and always insists on ordering the same thing everywhere they go.
I get it, we get comfortable with the status quo, even if it's not where we really want to be. Sometimes we don't know where we want to be, we just know it's not here.
Stepping outside of our comfort zone means facing the unknown, and to highly sensitive people, the unknown is very uncomfortable. We thrive in routine and schedules. We like to know what to expect and be prepared.
But here's the thing you might not want to here: growth doesn't happen in our comfort zones. I really wish it did because I am a big fan of that zone!
Growth happens when we finally get the courage to take that leap and actually quit that job and start our own business or move to a different city or leave a relationship.
But we eventually have to, even if it means stumbling (and possibly really, really embarrassing ourself) along the way.
So why do we let fear hold us back?
Comparisonitis
Comparisonitis, the plague of the internet. We scroll through social media, comparing ourselves to other women (friends and strangers) who seem to have it all figured out.
Spoiler alert: they don't. Behind every perfectly curated Instagram feed lies a story of struggle, setbacks, and self-doubt. They just don't show us the messy parts.
So instead of getting caught up in the comparison game, you need to accept and embrace the messy, imperfect, beautifully flawed, unique you.
I love the saying that goes something like "Don't compare your Chapter 1 with their Chapter 20." (I probably just slaughtered the quote but you get the point,)
Usually we compare where we are at to someone who has been in the game and hustled and put in the time for years.
However, we get down on ourself when we aren't at their status in a few months or even a few years.
Fear of Failure
Ah, yes, the F-word. We've all been there, paralyzed by the fear of falling flat on our face. But failure isn't the end of the road; it's just a detour.
Some of the greatest success stories start with failure.
Did you know Arianna Huffington first lost a campaign for governor of California before starting the Huffington Post?
Vera Wang initially wanted to be an Olympic skater.
Joan Rivers has been banned from networks and even went bankrupt but she keeps on going,
Sarah Jessica Parker was the creative director for Halston when it went under.
Okay, I digress. But my point is none of them let failure stop them, instead they pivoted.
So instead of fearing failure, accept that it is part of the journey (and that it sometimes gives you really good stories to tell at parties.)
Another way to reframe failure is view it as feedback. Look at everything as information and learn from it.
Self-Doubt
This shows up as that nagging voice in our heads that says, "What makes you think you can do it? and "Who are you to chase after your dreams?"
Well, who are you not to? You're a capable, resilient, and strong highly sensitive woman. Don't let self-doubt be what holds you back.
When you notice that inner critic, silence it by replacing those doubts with affirmations of your worthiness. Here are a few to get you started:
I am deserving
I trust myself
I am loved
I am worthy
I am resilient
I am capable
I am brave
I am getting (stronger, better, smarter) everyday
Courage
How do you start to break free from the fear and pursue your dreams? It starts with a little thing called courage.
Courage to step outside of our comfort zones.
Courage to embrace imperfection.
Courage to fail spectacularly and get back up again.
Courage to believe in ourselves, even when the world tries to tell us otherwise.
Courage and maybe some life coaching???
So I'll ask you the five-word question again, "What is holding you back?"
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